Awareness begins with noticing where we are, and what we’re thinking. We begin to shift from living unconsciously to simply observing. Before we can seek enlightenment, or even understand what that means, we must first understand attention and the movement of life around us.
Who are we beneath the performances and the noise of our lives? Are we the personas that we pretend to be in public, or are we silently someone else?
Identify the Masks
We construct a vast amount of our own egos through our thought processes and how we believe we should present ourselves to the world. When we get up in the morning, we get ready and put on clothing that conforms to society’s belief as to what someone should wear. We adhere to dress codes and compliance regulations as to how we look. Our ‘work mask’ is one such role that we wear and present to the world.
As we talked about before, we have an evolutionary drive to fit in, to be accepted by the tribe, but this is based out of survival instinct and doesn’t hold the same gravity as it once did. Although, it can still apply. For example, we have a desire to fit in at work, so we aren’t (hopefully) the first person in line when layoffs come.
In my professional career, I have come across many yes-people, folks that will agree with their leaders no matter what their actual opinion is. These people have developed their work mask (e.g. their ego) to such an extent, and they’ve built up this illusion that they easily say things and pretend to believe in opinions, when they really don’t agree with whatever it is they’re talking about.
There are many examples of other faces in life: you could have a parent role, or a son-in-law identity, or a friendship performance. People change their outward personalities depending upon the situations they’re in to better fit in to the group they are with. This way of presenting yourself is driven by your ego’s desire to fit in, and is grounds for anxiety. What happens if the mask falls off? Would the group of people you’ve embedded yourself with accept you when they see the real you?
Read more about belonging vs. blending in: It’s OK to Not Fit In.
Our first step to awakening is to see these roles, to understand them and why they’re there. We don’t want to jump into trying to get rid of them, because some of them will be necessary, as we make this bridge between Zen and western living. Sometimes, we need these identities to fit in, for the betterment of our lives. Like I mentioned, our work masks are important, but we also need to be true to ourselves. I am adamant about being myself at work, however, I am respectful when I give my opinions and I operate within the bounds of our organizational structure. Although I am the same person at work, sometimes I withhold my true opinion or recommendation due to being an outlier.
Understanding the masks, and why they’re there, is what we must do first. Awareness is the first act of our rebellion. When you see the personas for what they are, you can finally stop the unconscious pretending. You can then shift into utilizing the disguise only when necessary, and being your genuine-self all other times.
How you can do this is to first identify your roles, then start by removing some of them that are non-foundational. For example, if you put on a different persona at social gatherings, drop it. Be yourself, your true self. Because if they don’t accept you then you didn’t belong there in the first place. Do this exercise in areas of your life that are not important to your survival, if you must, leave your work mask on so that you can continue earning a living.
Once you’ve seen the mask, the next step is learning to look behind it, without judgment.
Learning to Observe
We all have an inner voice (or inner world) and it lives alongside the outer world, we want to find how we can observe these two worlds without judgement and we also want to be able to see life as it is, and enjoy it.
How do we do that? We seek actual stillness. I mean real quiet.
First, I want you to think of nothing. No, not thinking about nothing, I want you to stop thinking and end the flow of thought into your mind and sit in the stillness of the day. Don’t visualize anything in your mind’s eye, don’t try to interpret the noises of the world around you, push out all thought and simply be in the moment, and allow the world in. Don’t think about your breathing, or the birds, or the wind, or nothing, just stop all thought.
This level of stillness allows us to detach from thought and emotions. We want to be able to detach ourselves from whatever is going on in our lives whenever we need to. If something is bothering your or giving you an anxiety attack, you can use this tool to detach yourself.
Detachment isn’t apathy, it’s learning to witness life without becoming its hostage.
Mindfulness Can Be An Ego Trap
When we hear the word “mindfulness culture”, we can think of phone apps that present meditation programs, or books that provide us with practiced hymns or other such things. There is a plethora of content that you can purchase that will provide you a guide on mindfulness. Do you know why there is this content? Because there is an egotistical desire to be ‘mindful’, as a badge, if you will.
Someone comes up to you and tells you they’re practicing mindfulness. I would imagine they expect you to have some sort of wonderment, or they want you to ask them how they’re doing it. They would go on to tell you about all of the meditations they’re doing and their yoga and all that jazz. But what they won’t tell you is how to eliminate or understand the ego and what its doing to you.
Most of the meditation culture is designed to capitalize on your ego and its desire to be enlightened, as a status symbol, rather than actually being enlightened. Because once you know, and once you understand the practices I am sharing with you, there is no more market. You’ve achieved the status of being enlightened and there is nothing more I can sell you. That wouldn’t make a great customer, if they can be considered ‘done’, so the industry perpetually tries to sell you new things and gets you to chase this dragon of false enlightenment.
Zen philosophy and the sharing of these ideas, even meditation and reflection, are all a part of our diet. That is to say, you do not need to read this blog or listen to my words indefinitely. At some point, you are going to understand, and then seek to live your life with your newfound understanding and ability to separate your ego from your mind. That is the aim of my work here, to get us to that point. You may want to come back here from time to time, and reread old posts or engage with some newer content that I may have written, but the point is to reach an understanding where you only do this because you enjoy it, not because there is a goodie attached to an invisible line somewhere in the future.
True mindfulness isn’t a product. It’s the space between moments when there’s nothing left to buy.
Realizing Freedom
When we can identify ourselves, and the masks that we own, we can understand that we do not have to perform anymore. Freedom comes from surrendering the illusion of control, e.g. you trying to control the outcome of social situations or professional situations by wearing a mask, and pretending to be someone else.
Living authentically, living true to yourself, is freedom.
Understanding your masks, and when to wear or drop them, is how we bridge Zen and Western life. Keep the necessary ones, discard the rest, and live as authentically as you can. You will find joy in the unhurried life, in quieting the mind on command. Remember, you don’t awaken into something new; you awaken out of what was never real.
Next week, we will discuss our First Breath of Awareness, and the following week will feature the Noise and How We Mistake it for Living. If you’d like, you can subscribe to the blog for email notifications when new posts are published, or you can follow Zennado on any of the socials at the top of the navigation bar. Take care.
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